Self Realized, Shatter Your Limits

Setting Your Boundaries: Your Road To Freedom

• Linton Bergsen • Episode 81

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What if the key to your personal freedom lies in the boundaries you set for yourself?  

I'm Linton Bergsen, and in this episode of the Self Realized, Shatter Your Limits Podcast, Setting Boundaries: Your Road to Freedom, you’re going on a life-changing journey. 

Imagine your life as a Road Trip. The boundaries you set are like traffic rules—they keep you safe and on the right path. These boundaries guide you toward a life full of happiness and purpose. Join me as you explore how setting boundaries can transform your life, increase your productivity, and help you achieve your life goals.  It's important to choose who joins you on your journey and make sure your road to success is filled with meaningful experiences. 

Why Listen? 

Balance Love and Self-Respect: Find out how to offer love and kindness without losing yourself. Understand the importance of self-love in maintaining healthy relationships. 

Discover Personal Freedom: Learn how boundaries protect your mental and emotional well-being and help you achieve true freedom. 

Guardrails for Happiness: Identify what makes you happy and how to protect it with strong boundaries. This episode will help you uphold your core values and live a more fulfilling life.

I share personal stories and tips on how to set these life-changing boundaries. Plus, I invite you to connect with my journey further by visiting my website, selfrealized.com where you can learn more about my 5 star Amazon reviewed book, Purposeful Vision: See Your Vision. Know Your Purpose and join a community striving to shatter limits and embrace a fulfilling life. 

Your feedback is so important to me! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast on your favorite platform. 


Let me know your thoughts on this episode. Text me your feedback! 🙂

https://www.selfrealized.com

Linton Bergsen:

Welcome to the Self-Realized Podcast with Linton Bergsen, where you will shatter your limits. I am not much into the self-help industry as much as I'm into the self-realized individual, which is you, what matters most to you, how you get there and the obstacles that may be in your way. If you would like to be part of this podcast and part of that discussion, I welcome you here with an open heart, open mind and open arms. So, without further ado, let's get on with the podcast.

Linton Bergsen:

This is episode number 81, Setting Your Boundaries, Your Road to Freedom. Have you ever contemplated that a lot of the freedom that you wish to enjoy, the life that you wish to have, the relationships that you want, the places that you wish to go, the goals that you want, the places that you wish to go, the goals that you want to set, are based upon the boundaries that you have established in your life? Your freedom, your ability to live your life at the fullest, with the most potential, is based upon setting definite boundaries. Contemplate on this for a moment. Can you love, can you be kind, can you give the best of yourself, unless you have set definite boundaries as to what can be crossed and what you will not, under any circumstances, allow to be violated. And the reason I use the word violated is because a violation of your boundaries is a violation of your values. A violation of your values is a violation of your life and how you live it. That can only lead to you being unhappy, miserable, depressed, because the minute you sell yourself short, you have now imploded inwardly in your own soul and your own spirit, as to how you feel about you. The minute that begins to become an issue within yourself, an erosion begins to occur. It then becomes a downward spiral. I know you've been down that road a time or two. I know I have, because you walk around with your inner voice, your self-talk. It's beginning to get negative. It's beginning to become a problem. You begin to say to yourself things like why am I doing this? Why haven't I changed the situation? How did I allow this to happen? And when that begins to escalate out of control, then you begin to go down this spiral of how do I now climb this stairway back up to where I know I should be? The question becomes why did you allow yourself to be in the position that you now find yourself? What is it that caused you to allow those boundaries to be violated?

Linton Bergsen:

Sometimes it is as simple in our personal and professional relationships that we try to be too kind, we try to be too accommodating, we try to let people have the benefit of the doubt more than we should. Kindness and love are two very important attributes in a relationship. Sometimes, when we go into relationships and we're told well, be kind, well, that's all good and well, but kindness doesn't mean that you have to be weak. Kindness means that you are available to help people if they are willing to help themselves. Kindness doesn't mean that you're there no matter what. Kindness means I can give you the best of myself, but it doesn't mean that you can abuse the best that I've given you.

Linton Bergsen:

The boundaries for your kindness and the boundaries for your love are established in how much do you actually value what you have to offer? How much do you value that, what you bring to the table and offer to other people in your love, in your kindness? Let me give you an example of how important it is to establish boundaries in your life and how it affects the outcome of your own life. When you are giving love and kindness to people, you are giving love and kindness to people, because there are two very important attributes in our own life that we give on so many different levels to establish a life that we also want for ourselves. If you are in different relationships with different people, doesn't make any difference what those relationships are. There's always an element of love and kindness that comes into play.

Linton Bergsen:

Tolerance is part of kindness. Although we may not always see it that way, acceptance is a part of kindness and love. These different attributes that play a very important role in who we are as human beings and spiritual beings are important for us to develop, but to develop in such a way that we understand that they require our time. They require us to put effort and time not only into ourselves to establish what the boundaries of our kindness and our love is, because we're doing our own personal development, we're doing our own self-awareness and evaluation on an ongoing basis. We are mindful of what it is that we are contributing to our workplace and to our personal relationships, what we are really investing in when we give away our love and our kindness. Our understanding is part of ourselves, part of our soul, part of our spiritual essence. It comes from deep within you, deep within your soul, deep within your spirit, deep within that inner sanctum of yourself, if it is genuinely and truthfully coming from your heart and not a manipulation, faking them to try and get something that you want. Think about this for a moment.

Linton Bergsen:

Love and kindness don't come from an intellectual standpoint, of a logical application. They come from an internal engine within yourself that says I'm going to be kind when you may not feel like it. I'm going to give love when you may not feel like it. You're extending these two important attributes, these two important soul qualities, into your life at every level, in order for you to receive back a certain amount of love and kindness at a certain level. It is a reciprocating energy. It is a powerful energy that allows you to feel complete within situations, circumstances that occur in your life on an everyday basis.

Linton Bergsen:

Sometimes people will come up to you and they'll ask you for advice. They may even ask you for love, compassion, and you give it to them. Have you ever found out that once you, you give it to them? Have you ever found out that, once you've given it to them, they then move on? And when you ask for some love and compassion and kindness, it's not so easily reciprocated. You learn. You learn that giving away what you have to just anyone who's going to use it is a violation of your own being. Why would you do that? You set boundaries. When you think about life and you think about the cost that is involved in not having the right boundaries, not setting them, it's huge Contemplate on your own life. For a moment, think back to situations, people, circumstances personal and professional where you've overextended your abilities to give and give and give, and then find out that in fact, it was never appreciated. One way for you to begin to assess whether you are giving to the right people, the right situations, the right circumstances of yourself is genuine appreciation and reciprocation. The important word there is genuine. Be mindful of the way people respond to you, of what it is that you have to say and offer. That is of great value because you value yourself. Love and kindness have boundaries. You have boundaries. Everything in life has boundaries. You go out into the world. There are boundaries all around you.

Linton Bergsen:

If I give you the metaphor of driving your car, you get in a car. There's boundaries as to what you can and cannot do. If you're driving on a two lane highway, there's a line down the middle of the road. If you cross that line, that's a boundary you could get in a serious accident. Why do you keep within the lines of the highway? Why do you keep in the lines of the road? You respect those boundaries because they keep you safe. That's why you do it. When you see a stop sign or traffic light, you stop. It's a boundary. Why? Because if you go out without looking you will obviously get into a serious accident. You may not live.

Linton Bergsen:

This episode is called Setting Boundaries, your Road to Freedom. If you use the analogy, the metaphor I just gave you about driving, and look at that center divider in the middle of the road, you have to begin to develop on your road that you're driving on this road of life, your road to freedom. While living this life is some center dividers, things that people cannot cross over and things that you will not cross over. There's a relevance to that. You know. They say well, you have to obey the law. That word obey, obedience, is, in our own vocabulary, sometimes very negative, but if you think of the power of that word, you think of the power of what it can do for you in your life and how it can affect your life, you would obey that center divider on the road because of the consequences and you would expect other people to obey that center divider as well. If they don't, you'd get very upset If they hit you. Your car ruin your life Could if the accident was serious enough. There's an obedience there. If you adopt that mindset into your own life that people have to obey your center dividers that you put into your life in different areas and they cannot cross it because if they do and they hit you, there's a penalty to pay that you may not like.

Linton Bergsen:

Who controls the steering wheel? Who controls where your vehicle goes on a day-to-day basis on your road to freedom? If you use it as a metaphor and you put your hands on your own steering wheel and you drive yourself down the road of life as you drive your own car, where are your center dividers? Who's crossing into your lane? Do you knowingly have drunk drivers in your life that you can control and remove, knowing that they have substance abuses that you've tried to help them with, but they won't let go? Who is exceeding the speed limit and making your life a danger? But they won't let go. Who is exceeding the speed limit and making your life a danger?

Linton Bergsen:

Begin to value who you are as a human being and the value that you put on your love and your kindness as a roadmap for to an investment in your time and energy to get to the destination that you need to go to whole, fully, well and as stress-free as possible. When you get into your car, you know where you're going most of the times, and if you don't, there's a GPS now that can guide you. Do you trust the GPS? Because when you are in your car and you don't know where you're going, there's intuitive sense that's involved in that as well. You have to trust that the GPS is telling you the way to go is correct. In your life it is the same.

Linton Bergsen:

On this road of life, as I mentioned in many episodes, there is an intuitive guidance within you that a self-realized individual understands. That's what self-realization is. It's understanding that you have an intuitive guidance within you that knows everything, that is always talking to you. If you're listening to it and telling you what to do, where to go, how to do it, what the boundaries are that you need to set, who's going to violate them, be aware, be cautious, but you have to listen to it.

Linton Bergsen:

In life, the rules and regulations are set for us on the road by authorities and we are expected to obey them. That's it. And if you don't and you get caught, there's a penalty to pay. A police officer may pull you over, you get a ticket or, worse, you could get in a really bad accident. Use that metaphor, that analogy, in your own life. Use that metaphor, that analogy, in your own life when you are setting a path on the road to freedom by setting boundaries. You have to be your own police officer. You have to be the one understanding that. What is the price I'm going to pay? How severe could it be if I give away my love and my kindness? What are the ways you can give away your love and your kindness?

Linton Bergsen:

Staying in situations too long, thinking people will change if you give them just a little bit more kindness, if you just stayed and gave them a little bit more love. And love and kindness are developed in every part of our lives, personal and professional. Our tolerance level for people and how we treat them is based upon those two attributes. How long are you going to be tolerant, which could be, in my opinion, part of kindness? There is a time to leave. There is a time to say enough and establish at the very beginning what your boundaries are going to be, the road that you are going to allow people to travel down with you on, because you're going to give your time and your energy to everything in your life, based upon how kind, how loving, how tolerant you're going to be of any situation.

Linton Bergsen:

Setting boundaries is really productivity. It really is your time management, it is your life management, because going down the wrong road and getting in the wrong accident, getting involved in the wrong pathways and crossing that divider line can be very, very, very costly. You cannot control everything in life. What you can control is the direction you're going in your hands on the steering wheel. Control is the direction you're going in your hands on the steering wheel and where you point your own self. You are your own vehicle, but you have to know what it is that you're going to accept, how fast you're going to take the curve on the road. Who is going to go around that bend with you? Who is going to drive in your vehicle?

Linton Bergsen:

Let's say you have a car that holds four people. Who are the four people you're taking on the road trip? Are there people in the back giving you backseat advice? The backseat drivers who are very annoying, who don't know where they're going or what they're doing, but they're going to tell you what to do. You tolerate it? No, you don't. At some point you say you know what, I've had enough. You put over to the side of the road and say you can get out now. Well, how am I going to get home? I really don't know. But really, the end of the road for you in my life is here. Sometimes that's what it takes. Sometimes you have to be that severe.

Linton Bergsen:

There is an obedience involved in driving a car. There's an obedience in your own life to your own values and who you are and the systems that you've put in place for your own well-being. Because you've done the introspection, you've done the self-awareness, you've made that list of values that are important to you. You've been through things down the road a time or two that you've traveled. Every experience is a lesson and every experience allows you to say to yourself well, I overextended myself, I went a little too far, I was a little too loving.

Linton Bergsen:

I was a little too loving, I was a little too kind. People say, well, you can't be too loving, you can't be too kind. Of course you can. You can give too much of yourself away and the price you pay is up to you. Every time you give yourself away, there's a price to pay. Just think of life that way. I tell myself that Every time I give myself away, there's a price to pay. Where are the boundaries? Why do I let people overstep them? I look at myself. That's always the journey of the self-realized individual. Look at yourself. Don't point the fingers outward. Point the fingers inward. Where did I go wrong? I have the steering wheel and I crossed over into the other lane and I got hit. Now I got away with it because it wasn't a bad accident. But if I keep letting people cross into my lane and I keep crossing into other people's lane, the severity of that accident could get a little worse. And as it goes on, the longer I take to recover.

Linton Bergsen:

You setting boundaries on your road that you want to travel on is going to be absolutely the outcome of your life, because every time that you waste time with people who aren't deserving of you, it is time in years gone by. Setting boundaries on your road to freedom means this you are freeing yourself up to be everything you can be by allowing people into your life that matter, situations into your life that matter Because your boundaries are set. You know the road that you're going down. Your road to freedom is based upon your self-love, your value of yourself, upon your self-love, your value of yourself, people and I will use the word obeying the divider line and, most importantly, you obeying the boundaries and that divider line that you have put your hands on, that steering wheel to drive down a certain highway, to lead you where you want to be, in the vehicle with the people that you want in your life, so you can have the outcomes that you would like to have. Don't waste your time. Set your boundaries on your road to freedom and you will find that what happens to you is that freedom is not just a word. It becomes an experience that you live and enjoy.

Linton Bergsen:

I sincerely appreciate you listening to the podcast. Please subscribe so you do not miss any upcoming episodes. Whatever platform you're on, please leave a rating and review. I would greatly appreciate it. Any additional information on me, Linton Bergsen, and my five-star reviewed book, Purposeful Vision is available at selfrealized. com, which is all one word. You can also leave any comments or suggestions on the website. I look forward to connecting with you very soon and take good care of yourself.